With Us Forever
Frannie was the glue that held her family together. As out family grew and relationships blossomed or became strained, through times of sickness and celebration - Frannie was the one we turned to for perspective and advice.
Frannie was the confident. Keeper of secrets and the one you told anything to without fear of judgement or betrayal.Frannie was the family's Miss Manners and Dear Abby, wrapped into one. When you needed to know the right thing to do, she was the one to turn to.
Never one for subtlety, Frannie would not hesitate to let you know exactly what she thought in no uncertain terms. All you had to do was ask.
Frannie was our unabashed dispenser of fashion advice. What to wear, wear to buy it, when to show it off. Frannie knew.
Frannie was always there for you. No matter how she felt or what else she had planned, Frannie would make the time and go out of her way to share, advise, comfort and participate in our lives.
Very sadly, Frannie is no longer physically with us. But I have no doubt that she will live with us all for a long, long time. Whenever we hear that certain tone of voice, or hear someone say "Ter-RIF-ic!" Every time we remember what Frannie would have said, or follow advice she gave us once. When we flash on how she made us feel, or come across a photo and smile inside. Those common experiences, memories and feelings will hold us together.
They are glue. A common bond. And we'll thank Frannie for that forever.
One year. So much has happened in one year. Nikki is now a college student, and Ryan has grown a foot and is immersed in preparing himself for college. Chris has started a new job and Oliver is now fully mobile and vocal. Rusty and Emily are married. Dad has settled in to life at Atria where he can spend as much time as he likes with people and puzzles and his every need is provided for. Lisa's father's health has taken a turn for the worse and he has moved to Atria as well. Grey and Sharon have moved in to home in which they were destined to live.
Mom would have loved being a part of all of it. Laughing at the stories, dispensing advice and making memories for us all. She would even appreciate the part about Dad because, deep down, she had to know that she would not have been able to provide for him by herself for much longer t han she did. And he is in a good place.
We've filled a year with life that Mom could not share. I've missed her. Her support. Her playfulness. Her silly stories. And I catch myself thinking, "What would Mom say about this?" almost every day about something.
I'm thyankful for having had Mom in my life for 62 years. And, strange as it mayy sound, I'm thankful for how her life ended. Mom was, above all else, full of life. The thought of her suffering from a lingering illness or disability - slowly killing that laughter and spirit - is unimaginable. Mom never had to surrender her strength, independence or love of life.
And I know it sounds cliche, but Mom's sudden passing was a huge reminder to me of how fragile life is. Moments before her accident Mom had plans. Dinner plans. A to-do list around the house. Thoughts about Russ and Emily's wedding. Last minute preparation for Kit and Ross' visit. And in an instant those plans became meaningless. This was my mother's final lesson - to me and all of us:
That we are so fortunate to live this life, and that every day we live us a gift to be cherished in the moment. We will always have plans and distractions. But I have resolved to awaken each morning feeling fortunate and full of hope for the day ahead. And to thank my mother for the day, and for her love, every night as I go to sleep.
You'll be with me always, Mom. Sleep well. 8/17/2018
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